How to Deal with Recalcitrant Plants

Weary of the pathos
brought by her brown thumb
my mother heard
plants respond to speech.

She turned to her orchid
bereft of the blossoms
it started with.
Lovingly, she coaxed,
stubbornly, it resisted,
persisted as scraggly foliage.

Next up, struggling philodendrons.
Every morning she praised
the stunted leaves clinging
to trailing tendrils
until they died of embarrassment.

Then an ivy caught her attention,
eyed her warily as she sidled close
and cooed,
"I have three little words for you."
Appraising its droopy runners,
she let loose with
"CHOP, CHOP, CHOP!"

Mom never did hold with small talk.